I’ve worked a lot of crappy jobs in my time, but none were so hideous and so bizarre as working in the McDonald’s complaint department.
Did you know? There is just one call center in America that handles every single call from every single irate McDonald’s customer. Just one. The company that oversees the operation also takes care of customer calls from other businesses. Most of them have their own little section in the building, but the McDonald’s department takes up an entire floor.
I knew going in that it wasn’t going to be a pleasant job, but I needed…
Ashira hurried down the dark, empty street and shot a look behind her. A tall hooded figure plodded after her, carrying a large urn whose contents sloshed after each methodical step. He was large, menacing, and terrifying in his lack of urgency. Nothing would stop him, but nothing would hurry him. He would follow her no matter where she ran, and he would reach her eventually. It was only a matter of time.
“Every night with you!” she huffed. “It’s a wonder we haven’t gotten caught!”
She marched back to her slow pursuer, inspected his wrapped face, and readjusted his…
A cat’s laziness saves mankind.
“It came!” the human female cried. Her high-pitched voice disturbed the cat only slightly as she napped on the dining table.
“What did?” the human male asked. He didn’t bother to get out of his computer chair.
“Subway’s new toy!” The woman brought a brown paper box into the house and set it on the dining table with a thud. The cat’s ears pinned back, but she didn’t move. The sun had warmed up the spot on the table, and she wasn’t about to abandon it.
“Tell me again. Why did we name the cat…
A jealous little pup just wants to celebrate, too.
Steve was just the worst.
One day, without consulting me, he just moves into our house, bringing along his clothes and pillows and shoes that I’m not supposed to chew on. I mean, I’m not supposed to chew on any shoes, but it annoys me that I can’t tear up this intruder’s stuff. Who does he think he is? Doesn’t he know this house is just for me and Marco? …
Fireworks, whiskey, and old-time sorcery
When Tom pulled into his driveway, he saw the screen door was open. It smacked the side of the house with every gust of wind. He reached under the car seat and pulled out his Bowie knife. He had covered it in three layers of curses but it was also sharp. He felt safer with it than any gun he could purchase. Holding it close to his chest with the blade pointed out, he crept to his house and peered inside.
It didn’t look like he had been robbed. None of his books were missing…
He’ll find his girl even through the end of the world.
I was dreaming about chasing a squirrel when the sound of screaming woke me up.
I heard people yelling on the street. I pushed the curtain aside with my nose and peeked out the window. Each one of them wore a scary mask. They looked like the heads of flies, with long floppy mouths and big eyes. Each of them held a box with a spout coming off it. They sloshed liquid all around the house and yelled some more.
I ran around the couch room, but I…
Miniature painting isn’t about the end result. It’s about the process.
My husband and I stood open-mouthed in the hobby shop. We gaped at the sheer enormity of choices before us. Human paladins, half-elf bards, dwarf fighters, and half-orc barbarians looked down at us. Each one looked cooler than the last. I knew we only had so much money, but I felt I could easily drop a thousand dollars in my friendly local game shop.
“Here’s a tabaxi!” my husband cried. He pulled out the gray cat-person miniature from the shelf. “This will be perfect for Mike.”
“And here’s a…
Pads. Pantyliners. Tampons. Sanitary belts.
When it’s that time of the month, no option seems good enough. They all have to be changed multiple times a day and you end up shelling out a ton of cash just for something you’ll throw away anyway.
What if I told you there was a better way?
I’m talking about menstrual cups.
Imagine a small champagne glass. Now break off the stem. Now imagine the whole thing is made of silicon. There. You’ve got your menstrual cup. It’s a firm yet flexible little cup that you can fold, insert into your vagina, and…
You’re just doing your job when the world ends.
Hal logged into the company’s computer and used the only program he had access to: the punch-in/punch-out software. He was thankful for the job. It paid well and there was a certain amount of prestige working at a research facility. EKKOlation was dedicated to studying sound and its properties.
Or something. Hal wasn’t too clear on the details. All he knew was the team of four trendy twenty-somethings wanted a reasonably clean job site. He looked over his monthly to-do list and flinched. Tonight was the night he had to wax…
I was a sedentary child and teen. The only exercise I got was what I was made to do at P.E. School was hard enough without becoming a panting, sweaty mess in front of the class. I would always come home and console myself with a video game.
It was like that in my twenties, too. Your retail job sucked again today? How about some Zelda to make yourself feel better? It was only once I started working at an office that I even started to consider getting into shape.
After finding helpful resources from a site called Nerd Fitness…